Thursday, August 27, 2009

confessions of a would-be career gal

Ok. I have a confession to make: now that I'm a bit over the "lost my job" mind games and self-pity (I acknowledge openly there has been some of that) I'm really kinda digging' the SAHM thing. I know I shouldn't; I can't really afford it financially and I really do feel I have something valuable to contribute to the work world - but right now I'm truly enjoying being with my baby, the pug, and even the cooking and cleaning!

While I am in no danger of becoming the next Betty Crocker, I admit feeling a bit conflicted. I feel like I'm "supposed to" being going crazy at home, and while I do admit to some isolation -I'm also not feeling the ridiculous amount of stress and anxiety. I am enjoying the simplicity of things - I am productive - I write, I am still looking for jobs etc but also working out and walking - really walking - for the first time in a year. I feel a bit like I am finding myself again in the midst of all of this.

So yes, I know I need a job and have no intention of scaring my husband otherwise - but I would not trade for the world this time I am getting with my ever-changing little girl. Today, I am content...and even happy. The career gal in me winces a little, but the earth mama rejoices.

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